Success always belongs to those who dare to express their desires.
there is an impressive clip in the hit TV drama Menghualu.
after helping the heroine Zhao Paner escape from the danger, the male patron Qianfan was in a hurry and said to her:
"I can't let anyone know that you are my Achilles' heel."
when an ordinary girl hears this ambiguous remark, it is hard to avoid a deer bumping in her heart.
but Zhao Paner made it clear very seriously:
"what kind of mentality and identity do you take to say such a thing to me?
Don't mess with me without thinking about it. "
in fact, it takes the courage to speak up not only emotionally, but also in life.
as Calbert said: "beyond nonsense, say what you have to say."
learn to be honest so that others can understand what you really think.
only by knowing how to communicate honestly can you avoid unnecessary internal friction.
to put it bluntly, it is the highest EQ in interpersonal communication.
between people, they are most afraid of "not saying anything"
some time ago, my friend was in a bad mood.
only when I asked in private did I know that she was having a bad time at work.
Last month, the company had a big project that could be done with the qualifications and ability of tea.
but because she was embarrassed, she didn't tell the leader that she wanted to participate in it.
as a result, the project was won by someone who was not as competent as tea, which made her regret.
moreover, this is not the only thing that has happened to tea.
she recently moved to a new dormitory. Two roommates like to play games at noon, so that she can't sleep.
although Tea wanted them to be quiet, she swallowed it again every time she saw them having a good time.
I wanted to find a suitable opportunity to talk to my roommate, but the longer I found it, the more embarrassed I was to talk to them.
"what if they think that I didn't have a problem with it before, but now I bring it up on purpose?"
in this way, tea is full of boredom and has no place to vent.
just when the leader assigned work to her when she was very busy, Cha Cha felt that she was going to collapse.
people like tea are common in life.
dare not express their opinions and emotions because they are afraid that others will say that they are "arrogant";
for fear of being criticized as "utilitarian", he dared not show the slightest ambition.
We have been disciplined since childhood, so much so that when we grow up, many of us are ashamed to express our true thoughts.
do not realize that if you are emotionally depressed for too long, you will get sick.
in psychology, there is a concept of aggression, which refers to the desire to release the instinctive motivation of attack when the internal needs are not met.
if you always suppress it, the aggressive spearhead will turn to yourself, leading to division and even destruction in negative emotions such as irritability and anger.
there is a saying on the Internet: "99% of troubles are caused by not saying something."
in fact, learning to reasonably express aggressiveness when self-boundaries are violated is the correct way to solve the problem.
speak out your inner dissatisfaction, and others will know the trouble it has caused to you.
express your own opinions, and others will understand your difficulties.
many problems can be solved by frank communication, and many grievances can be understood by speaking out directly.
as the writer Westo said:
"to be frank is a positive attitude to face up to the problem."
in many cases, learn to express your opinions reasonably so as not to go to extremes.
the most effective communication is to speak bluntly
recently, a segment of the variety show "50 kilometers of Peach Blossom Wok" has been a hot search.
during the group discussion, Song Dandan proposed to hold a bonfire party the next day for everyone to perform.
although in the previous voting session, many people said that they did not want to hold a party, most people reluctantly agreed to it because of Song Dandan's senior status.
Wang Chuanjun is the only exception.
when Song Dandan asked Wang Chuanjun to perform, Wang Chuanjun replied bluntly:
"I will definitely not act."
seeing the disbelief on Song Dandan's face, Wang Chuanjun carefully explained the reason:
"I am a very sensitive person. I have always had a strong feeling of being pushed. I don't like this feeling very much, so I have to say it."
I don't think it's necessary for us to assign a task to finish it in order to finish it.
I look forward to it in the end, from the bottom of our heart, there are songs and dances we want to sing. "
A speech is clear and reasonable.
many of the little friends next to them clapped their hands to show their approval.
compared with other people's acceptance of music, Wang Chuanjun's honesty seems a little out of place.
but in fact, it is precisely because he boldly speaks his heart that people can better understand and respect his choice.
in life, there are often people who, out of face, beat around the bush and say something against their will when communicating with others.If so.
writer Lian Yue once said:
if you have something to say, go round and round. This way of communication is more rural and does not conform to commercial civilization.
the reason why many people hide their opinions and do not express them is just for fear of offending others.
but if you don't express what you really think, how will others know that you have violated your bottom line?
or "Caigen Tan" said well:
"therefore, a gentleman is not like a simple Lu with his skill, but not like a madness with his music."
instead of forcing yourself to be a sophisticated person, it is better to express your views frankly, so that you can live more freely and calmly.
the most comfortable relationship is to say something clearly
in intimate relationships, there are some subtext that often make people feel tired.
"I'm angry", which means "coax me";
"the house is dirty", which means "go mopping the floor";
"the baby is crying" means "go and have a look";
these words, occasionally said once or twice, as the touchstone of feelings, are understandable.
I am afraid. I regard whether I can guess the meaning behind the subtext as the only criterion to measure my emotion. as long as I can't guess correctly, I will be suspected of not loving it.
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but who hasn't been negligent yet? Sometimes when I get busy, I really don't care so much.
there is something you don't know, and the other person may not really understand what you're saying.
as Huang Zhizhong, the debater of "Strange Theory", said:
"only three points are spoken, and the remaining seven points are guessed.
guessing back and forth, they are all guessing from the bottom of their hearts, and they miss a lot of hearts. why bother? "
couples who get along well with each other never mind talking bluntly.
A husband who has been in love with his wife for ten years has shared clips of their relationship:
wife said: honey, wash the dishes.
I replied: OK.
the wife said, "Honey, mop the floor."
I replied: OK.
wife said: honey, take out the garbage.
I replied: OK.
the wife said: honey, let's go to the gym.
I replied: honey, I've been busy all day. I don't want to move. I want to lie in bed and play with my cell phone.
wife smiles: good.
so you see, close lovers, there is no need to hide and let each other guess each other's minds.
if you have something to say, it represents a heart and understanding, which is 100 times more sincere than the Tibetan language.
as one netizen said:
"people like clear and simple things. Don't miss life and love because of implication."
only when husband and wife treat each other calmly can they deepen their tacit understanding, and only when they agree with each other can they understand their sincerity.
as Mr. Yang Jiang said:
"if you have something to say, say something clearly, don't be defensive when getting along, and have no scruples when chatting, this is probably the best relationship."
being able to say what you want from the bottom of your heart and say it sincerely is the highest level of empathy.
writer Yan Jiang once said this sentence:
"to learn to speak bluntly is an outstanding talent for Chinese people who are used to it."
in this world, the most efficient way to communicate is to express your ideas clearly and bravely.
speak out if you have problems, and avoid unnecessary contradictions and troubles;
if you have opinions, others are not as glamorous as you think.
there are not so many entanglements and routines in human-to-human interaction.
clear expression and neat feeling can create a relationship that is not tired.
as said in Poor Charlie:
"success always belongs to those who dare to express their desires."
, may we all speak bluntly and live sincerely, warmly and magnanimously for the rest of our lives.