It is better to improve yourself than to complain about others.
I have heard such a story:
there is a man who wants to divorce his wife. When asked why, he replied:
"it's so hard for me to live with her. She always keeps pet pigs in the house, which makes the room smell terrible. "
others say, "then just open the window in the room and get some air often."
the man shook his head and said, "that's no good. As soon as I open the window, all my pigeons will fly away."
this story tells us:
people are used to seeing other people's faults, but not their own.
the Book of morality says: "
he who knows others is wise, and he who knows himself is wise.
means that to know others is wisdom, and to know yourself is true wisdom.
most of the time, the trouble in relationships is that you don't see yourself clearly.
if you always feel that the world is unkind to you, the fault is not with others, but with yourself.
therefore, if a person can look at introspection and learn to treat himself with "illness", his life will be much better.
the disease of greed for bargains
and the essence of communication between people is actually a mutually beneficial relationship.
even people who don't care much will have a ruler in their heart and a subconscious measure of gain and loss.
so if a person does not have a close friend around him, he should examine his daily words and deeds.
such an example:
after his good friend Ping resigned from the company, he wanted to start a foreign trade company of his own.
when one of his colleagues heard about this, he also wanted to resign and work with him, but he was politely refused.
I asked Ping, "Don't you usually have a good relationship?" Why don't you cooperate with him? "
Ping said: "he is a person who has never paid the bill for dinner, likes to take advantage of others, and will never let himself suffer." The pattern of such a person is too small. If I cooperate with him, I will not be able to go for a long time. "
it seems that everyone has a scale in mind.
even if you appear to be friendly, it doesn't mean that you take advantage of others and that they don't take it to heart.
all things can only be gained without giving up, and there will be no gains without giving up.
this is an eternal causality.
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people should never hold the mentality of "only I am smart and others are stupid" and try to think or calculate others again and again to take advantage of a little bit.
there is a saying in Cai Gentan: "
even if you take advantage of personnel, you are bound to suffer from the way of heaven.
so you have to be a bigger person, and don't be too cheap and lose the big because of the small.
some people say:
the greatest stupidity of human nature is self-righteousness.
A self-righteous person is the kind of person who has a sense of superiority and thinks that others are cobblers and that he is Zhuge Liang.
there are a lot of such people in life.
our company recently recruited a new girl.
she graduated from a famous university with good conditions in all aspects, so her boss asked her to take over the business of a big client.
at first, her colleagues were friendly to her, but slowly they didn't like her more and more.
because every time she tells someone about her work, she uses the following command to direct others' tone, which is very uncomfortable.
once when she was entering a business system, she typed a data incorrectly, which was found by an old colleague and asked her to correct it.
as a result, the girl said to her old colleague impatiently, "you just change it on your interface, how can you change it?"
my old colleague directly refused to say, "I won't."
the girl said in a condescending tone, "you won't let me teach you!"
that voice infuriated my old colleague and replied loudly to her: "I need you to teach me. Who do you think you are?"
Grandma's Quotations said: "the most valuable thing for a person is to know how many pounds he or she is."
so people should be self-aware and measure their own strengths before showing your superiority to others.
as the saying goes, there is rain in heaven and disaster in people. Even if there is something outstanding, we should learn to be modest.
as Lin Qingxuan said, "only humility is worthy of your extraordinary wisdom."
after all, if you live in a crowd, you should not be too self-righteous, so as not to be annoying.
Internal friction entanglement
people with "entanglement of internal friction" live the most tiring life, and the most prominent manifestation of this kind of people is to think too much.
originally nothing happened in reality, but people with "entangled internal friction" put on a big play in their hearts, using their own brain supplements to make themselves exhausted.
the little civil servant written by the writer Chekhov is such a person:
he could have apologized, but because of his bossThe sentence "it doesn't matter", in a faint tone, makes me think that the boss may still hold a grudge.
as a result, he got more and more nervous and stood up again and again to apologize. The boss was so annoyed that he said to him impatiently, "sit down, I want to see the play!"
the young civil servant turned pale with fear and went back to think about it all night.
the next day, he personally went to the office to apologize, and finally annoyed his boss and yelled at him, "get out of here!"
this roar scared the little civil servant out of his nerves. He returned home in a daze, paralyzed his legs and died.
the story sounds a little ridiculous, but in fact, there are such people in life who are too sensitive:
my husband will stir for hours if he doesn't reply to Wechat right away.
colleagues' eyes are wrong and they will ponder for a day.
the boss said a few cruel words and would regurgitate for a month.
I have fought one such struggle after another with myself, but the enemy has only himself.
waste too much energy on others.
as a matter of fact, communication between people is not so complicated, as long as you sort out three things: your own business, other people's business, and God's business.
as long as you do your own thing, you don't have to care too much about anything else.
after all, the most important thing is to please yourself all one's life.
complain about the diseases of others
in real life, there is another kind of person who especially likes to complain and always has a lot of negative energy.
it is a kind of morbid psychology to blame others for everything and complain regularly regardless of timing and occasion.
there used to be such a cleaning aunt in our unit.
her husband divorced her, and she told her ex-husband how mercilessly and unintentionally and how he betrayed her whenever she saw him.
she also often complains that her daughter is a white-eyed wolf and has seldom come to see her since she got married.
at work, she is also full of grumbles, always swearing, accusing employees of being too uneducated, disrespecting the fruits of her work, and making the bathroom dirty.
everyone was tired of her and walked around when they saw her.
there is a foreign saying:
"I can count the stars in the sky, but I can't see the soot on my face."
people who like to find fault with others always fail to see the soot on their faces.
do not realize that many unhappiness in life is self-inflicted.
you always look at this every day, uncomfortable, resentful, the aura around you will certainly be destroyed, people's mood will also be affected, who would like to approach such people?
such people will detract from their blessings and are generally not very lucky.
Laozi said, "
when Great Way is implemented, it is not to blame on others.
good people know to look for reasons from themselves.
there is nothing wrong with a villain, a gentleman often passes, and a man should look at himself more often. It is better to improve yourself than to complain about others.
have seen such a sentence:
"yesterday I was smart, so I want to change the world; today I have wisdom, so I want to change myself."
this is the process of a person from growth to maturity.
A person's sign of maturity is that he has learned to "look at himself", there are "injuries" to cure himself, and there are "diseases" to see for himself.
Life is long, and only if you examine yourself from time to time and prevent yourself from getting "sick" can you go a long way.