May the couples all over the world help each other and let the water flow forever.
Li Ye, a poetess of the Tang Dynasty, wrote in Bazhi:
"from the near to the far east to the deep to the shallow Qingxi. Up to the sun and moon, close relatives and estranged husband and wife. "
because husband and wife are relatives who are not related by blood, they are together as a whole, and when they are separated, they become strangers, even when they live in old age and death.
most couples in the world choose to spend their lives with each other because they love each other at the beginning, but how many couples can love each other, walk through the hurdles of life together, and grow old together?
these four obstacles in marriage will be encountered by almost all couples. If they can overcome these difficulties, they will be able to grow old together and reap the sweetness of love.
if you can't get through, then contradictions, cold war and separation will all go hand in hand.
it is easy to fall in love, but difficult to get along.
in love, it is easy to be moved in an instant; to get along, it is difficult to be together.
when you understand the four common ways of marriage, you will live a relaxed and thorough life in the future marriage, and happiness will follow.
two years after marriage
these two years are the running-in period of marriage, and only after running-in can you get more and more comfortable.
when we are first together, both sides will give their best to each other, do not hesitate to express their love to each other, and feel very happy because of each other's sweet words every day.
the hormones of passionate love will make people feel that the other person is the one who is suitable to accompany you for the rest of your life.
however, there are never two people who are born right. They need to learn to tolerate and understand each other for the rest of their lives, and to change themselves and each other who are not suitable.
in the Love of parents, this is the love between Jiang Defu and Anjie all their lives.
at first, they didn't seem to match anywhere. One was an uneducated old man, and the other was an exquisite lady.
later, the vulgar Jiang Defu fell in love with Angie's favorite coffee and learned to eat western food. Angie also accepted each other's rude habits and would inadvertently chirp when eating.
if you want to have a happy marriage, you need to re-establish multiple relationships in the marriage.
first of all, the relationship between lovers, remember to express love to each other;
the second is partnership. You should firmly believe that you will not break up easily.
to build friendships on the basis of love, distribute and cooperate housework according to each other's preferences and characteristics, and cooperate with each other for the rest of your life, instead of becoming more and more estranged, one living like a single parent, the other like a single parent.
Roman Roland once said: "Marriage is a combination of mutual affection, tolerance and concession."
so, slowly run in, slowly tolerate, give yourself and each other time to correct the lack of time, and slowly feel the taste of happiness.
before and after pregnancy
after pregnancy, the wife will be in a good and bad mood because of physical discomfort, but once the husband is not considerate of his wife, the two are very likely to quarrel.
how many couples fail to pass at this level?
the husband thinks: don't you just have a child? Which woman doesn't have children, is she so hypocritical? He has to earn money to support his family.
my wife thinks: I really don't feel well. I want someone to care about me, understand me, know that it's not easy for me, and tolerate the changes in my body.
if you do not communicate well and express your ideas at this time, it is easy to create estrangement.
there will be a grudge between husband and wife, which lays the foundation for the escalation of marital conflicts in the future.
after giving birth, when the whole family revolves around the child and treats his wife as a "milk machine", in most cases the wife will feel aggrieved and feel that she is a fertility machine.
if you live with your mother-in-law, there are still many habits that cannot be agreed upon.
the wives of this period especially needed the help, maintenance and care of their husbands.
Zhang Xianyi participated in the variety show "Men who do housework" with Yuan Hong shortly after giving birth to a child.
Yuan Hong is a househusband in order to take care of his lactating wife, who is good at washing clothes, cooking and raising children.
Yuan Hong said: "A really good man never 'helps' a woman with housework, because housework is not owned by his wife alone and should be shared. When men do housework, the house is more warm."
Zhang Xianyi said: after having children, I have been strongly reformed, but I am very happy with you.
pregnancy is really an important promotion period for a wife, during which if the husband is more considerate to his wife and does not make her feel helpless.
then in the days to come, wives will be more willing to tolerate their husbands because of their considerate care during this period, because people are full of flesh, and wives will remember and be grateful.
after children go to school
Middle-aged pressure strikes, both sides want to get each other's understanding and love, but it is difficult to understand each other, often quarrel and dislike each other, and the education of their children aggravates the quarrel between husband and wife.
after a long time, the husband may not like to go home.Home is more depressed, more willing to go out to find friends to drink and chat, a smell of alcohol to go home, fall asleep, there is no opportunity for communication between husband and wife.
early the next morning, I sent my children to school, clocked in at work, and finally sat down. I had to devote myself to a day's work, and there was no time to think about the family affairs between husband and wife.
when I came home from work, it was the same day as yesterday, and suddenly I felt that life was like this, and I looked to the end.
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at this time, two people will get farther and farther away, and even one or both of them may change their minds.
Life needs adjustment. Don't turn your life into a backwater. It's a long life. Be interesting and meaningful.
Huang Lei once said:
"I am very opposed to husband and wife becoming relatives, such as my father, my mother and my daughter are my relatives, but my wife is my lover, my lover, my couple, she is different."
husband and wife are different from children and old people, and they need a little passion and mystery to be together, so don't turn "husband" into "father of children" and "wife" into "mother of children".
even an old husband and wife need romance and tenderness.
for example: a hug from a business trip, watching a movie together, going out to dinner without the elderly or the children.
this not only allows each other to put aside trifles and enjoy the world together, but also find a sense of romance and enhance the relationship between husband and wife.
empty nest period
by this time, the child has grown up, either going to college or already working.
couples at this stage can finally spend their time on themselves, but they don't know what to do.
some couples no longer get along with each other and do not want to put up with accumulated conflicts.
so although some couples have spent most of their lives, they still choose to divorce.
while other couples are busy with each other, the husband plays chess and cards with others, and the wife goes to the square dance. Anyway, he finds something to do and each has his own fun.
in fact, the independence of children can also liberate husband and wife from the tedious affairs of parenting and disciplining their children. with their own free time, they can cultivate their own interests and hobbies and enjoy life.
such couples can keep their marriage in the golden stage even during the empty nest period, enjoying the sweetness of mature love.
I can often see such an elderly couple in my circle of friends-they are my friend's parents, my aunt is cheerful, but my uncle is a good cook with few words.
because there is only one daughter of a friend, after retirement, they either report for a group trip or take part in seniors' group activities. the daily update of the circle of friends is rich and colorful.
friends are also very happy to see their parents live like this.
in fact, if the couple managed to cross the first few hurdles together, there would be no fourth hurdle at all.
and every hurdle, no matter who you are with, will encounter.
so don't give up easily when you encounter a hurdle, and only after you cross it can you reap the love that each of us wants.
it is not easy to meet, and it is even more rare to get to know each other. Cherish the people in front of you, so that in the years to come, there will be no regrets and no regrets, and you will live up to the gift of this lifetime.
, may couples all over the world help each other and let the water flow forever.