there is a kind of person in this world who has no bad intentions, but it is easy to be annoying every time he speaks or does something.

in the TV series "in the name of Family", the neighbor mother-in-law Qian is such an annoying "good man".

for various reasons, the adopted son was forced to leave his adoptive father and go to England to join his biological father.

the child was raised from an early age, and his departure must have made it difficult for the adoptive father's family.

as soon as we met, he asked, "is there any contact?"

as soon as he heard that he was still in frequent contact, he said with a little disdain: "it's still warm."

when he said this, he didn't notice it at all. The family's face was obviously unhappy, and they were still smug about it:

"

when he can come back later, that is true filial piety. "

this is not the first time that this mother-in-law Qian has worried blindly.

once, when the adopted son first came back, under the banner of being good for the adopted son, he said that the adopted son had to work more at home, otherwise he would be rejected by the adoptive father's family.

the children got up in the middle of the night to wash clothes in the bathroom, fearing that if they were not diligent, they would be driven away by their adoptive father.

in our lives, such low-EQ "kind-hearted people" can be seen everywhere.

they boast that they are warm-hearted and smile no matter who they see. They look kind and friendly, but as soon as they do things, they make their teeth itch with anger.

when they are warm-hearted, it is often the beginning of suicidal social interaction.

there is a question on Zhihu: why would so many people prefer to ride the subway with 5000 yuan in Bei Shangguang rather than go back to their hometown to enjoy comfort?

one high praise replied that it was purely to stay away from the suffocating kind-hearted people in his hometown.

every time you go to your hometown for a while, a lot of people flock to tell you what to do about your life, from getting married and having children to career planning to buying a house and a car.

my friend Ding Ding has deep feelings.

Ding Ding opened a clothing store in the mall, mainly in a frigid style of black, white and gray, which is also in line with the current fashion trend of young people, and the business is good.

but her sister-in-law is afraid that Tintin is young and will lose money in business.

so, without consulting Ding Ding, he took the initiative to buy a batch of colorful clothes on the Internet, saying that selling them together would not look too lifeless, but those clothes didn't match the tone of the clothing store at all.

after all, she is a pro-sister-in-law, and Ding Ding can only be angry and often think of ways to deal with clothes at a low price.

my sister-in-law was sincerely kind to Tintin, but her helpless ability and EQ were limited, so she finally stirred a pot of noodles into a batter.

this is like what netizens often say about this stalk. You see, the bear is so pathetic that he pillowed it with a pillow and covered it with a quilt. As a result, none of the three things dried.

when I was a child, every time I heard my elders complain that their kindness was treated as donkey liver and lungs, I especially hated those who were ungrateful.

when I grow up, I don't know where other people don't know the good people, and the kindness with low EQ will only cause trouble to others.

the more intimate a relationship is, the easier it is for people to lose their boundaries. In particular, some experienced people always use their own experience to interfere with other people's choices and call it "less detours".

but the guise of "kindness" cannot hide the fact that it has crossed the line at all.

in the movie lost Lovers, there is a relationship that has lost its boundaries:

Amy met her ex-boyfriend when she was desperate.

thought her ex-boyfriend would help her, but it turned out to be another nightmare for her.

in the apartment, the ex-boyfriend is full of monitors and can see Amy's every move clearly.

in addition, she also interferes with big and small things in Amy's life, even watching TV.

at first, it was just "for your own good" kindness, and then it turned into naked aggression and control.

it is every life's instinct to defend their territory, and even cute little rabbits will fight back in their own way when they feel that their territory has been violated.

not to mention every independent and complete person!

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there is no sense of good intentions, no matter how clever it is, it is always unlikable.

because what we need more than that dispensable help is respect.

as Zhou Guoping once said:

"A sense of size is a sign of maturity. It knows how to abide by the necessary distance between people, which means respect for each other as an independent personality, including respect for each other's right to be alone."

the warmth of low EQ is not as good as the indifference of high EQ!

the apathy of high EQ is not indifference, but the ability to stand in the right place, leaving enough comfortable space for others not to interfere with other people's choices and decisions.

the reason why Xu Zheng and Ning Hao have such a good relationship in the big dye vat of the entertainment industry and work together to produce such a great work is largely because they know what is meant by high EQ indifference.

in 2011, Ning Hao wanted to shoot the Golden robbery. Only ten days after he was off the phone, he hadn't found the right leading actor, and he was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan.

at this time, Xu Zheng introduced Lei Jiayin to Ning Hao, without much exaggeration or assurance, but said faintly:

"there is a young man in our regiment who should be what you want."

with that, Xu Zheng returned to his position, and there was no more detailed questioning and interference as to how to choose.

so is Xu Zheng, and so is Ning Hao.

in 2017, Ning Hao received a script and saw it at 4 o'clock in the morning.

because he wanted to support a group of new directors, Ning Hao gave the script to Wen Muye and recommended Xu Zheng to him.

at first, Xu Zheng didn't want to act, especially when he heard that the director was not Ning Hao.

Ning Hao was stupefied on the phone for a long time before saying, "this is a good opportunity. If you don't rest assured, I can be an executive producer."

Ning Hao knew it clearly and didn't bomb Xu Zheng with good intentions, forcing him into a dilemma. He just told him how good the opportunity was by promising to be a producer.

of course, the last film became a hit when I was not the god of medicine, which set a box office record.

in this world, there is no lack of kindness with low EQ, but the most lack of indifference with high EQ.

this indifference is like a glass of warm water, which is comfortable and reassuring.

once heard such a story:

the girl is going to college. Before leaving, her father told her to get along with her classmates, don't be afraid to lose face, and dare to say ugly things in front of her.

the girl wondered, "isn't that too selfish?"

the father pinched his daughter's nose and said that only by letting others know where your boundaries are, they would not be easily offended.

the coldness of high EQ in this world is too rare, and what can be seen everywhere is the kindness of low EQ.

the biggest reason is that one side is too patient, giving the other side room to move forward.

for those warm-hearted people with low EQ, the best way to deal with it is to cut off their way forward.

because the more leeway you leave, the more they will go further, and only when you put up a clear warning sign can you pour cold water on them to extinguish their enthusiasm.

cousin is an unmarried man. A few years ago, seven aunts and eight aunts were all worried about him. As soon as they saw him, they urged to get married and marry a wife. As soon as they saw him, they would talk about matchmaker and kiss. As soon as they saw him, they said they would listen to the old man, or else they would suffer losses in front of their eyes.

in the past few years, my cousin figured it out, and then when someone told him about getting married, he smiled, all in one ear and out the other.

looking at my cousin so indifferent, slowly, no one was willing to deal with him any more, and soon turned his firepower to the next object.

there is no absolute ease in this world, only people who never know what to do.

We can't change the low EQ and trouble-making characteristics engraved in the bones of these people, but we have long legs that can run far away.

36 is the best plan!

so, the next time you see such a person, the best way is to walk away after a greeting.

Bye-bye! We won't see you again ~

in this world, there is no lack of kindness with low EQ, but the most lack of indifference with high EQ.

Don't cause trouble to others under the banner of good intentions.

, stay away from these "warm-hearted" people.