As long as you take a light look at everything, there is nothing to worry about.
as the saying goes:
"depend on your parents at home and your friends when you go out."
however, great joy and sorrow to see themselves, ups and downs to see friends.
count on others, and you lose
there is a problem with Zhihu:
what do you think of your own weight in the eyes of others?
below there is an answer that goes like this:
your actual weight in the eyes of others is always lower than what you think you are in the eyes of others.
this is heart-wrenching, but it is also true.
in the TV series "I am Yu Huanshui", there is such a plot:
Yu Huanshui lent 130000 of his family fortune to his good friend Lu Fumeng.
after five years, Yu Huanshui wanted to buy a car and asked Lu Fumeng if he could pay it back.
Lu Fumeng said nothing but agreed.
but when Yu Huishui happily took his wife and children to choose a car, he couldn't get through to Lu Fumeng.
the man who once swore an oath seems to have disappeared from the world.
Yu Huanshui could not believe that he could be such a scoundrel: "Why did you lie to me?" Is that how you treat your brothers? "
and Lu Fumeng unexpectedly put on a face that the dead pig was not afraid of boiling water: "I just lied to you, what's wrong?" I'll pay you back, but it depends on my mood. "
he actually has money, but he just won't pay it back.
he actually knows Yu Huanshui's situation, but he doesn't care about Yu Huanshui's life or death.
I have no other meaning in telling this story. I just want to tell you:
never overestimate your relationship with anyone, or you will be disappointed.
do you remember Cheng Dieyi and Duan Xiaolou in Farewell my Concubine?
when Cheng Dieyi knew that Duan Xiaolou was going to take a wife, he grabbed each other by the collar and asked in tears:
"didn't you say you'd sing for the rest of your life?"
but for Xiaolou, singing has always been about making a living.
the life he wants to pursue is that his children and grandchildren wrap around their knees and eat coarse food.
so in troubled times, in order to save his life, he can report Dieyi and trap him in injustice.
but Dieyi chose to cut his own throat and die because of Xiaolou's abandonment.
think of what they said:
in this world, there are always two kinds of people who are most likely to get hurt, one is those who are too persistent, the other is those who attach too much importance to emotion.
people who are too persistent are obsessed with the past, are bitter about the pain, and end up hurting themselves.
people who are too emotional, disappointed in the promise as short as spring flowers, disappointed in the true exchange of friends, can turn around to sell themselves …...
however, life is such a naked reality.
those who can only accompany you for one ride are not destined to accompany you for the rest of your life.
in the adult world, you have to learn to walk alone, and then go through it all alone.
from now on, be happy and sad on your own, digest yourself through wind, frost and rain, and don't overestimate any relationship.
you need to know:
rely on others everywhere, count on others for everything, and you lose.
to see a person clearly, there is no need to fall out
when you are hurt, you often lose.
when you see people clearly, you take things seriously.
but you forget: not all fish live in the same sea.
the three values are different, so there is no need for strong integration;
people are different, so you don't have to go together.
when I first came to Shenzhen, I was poor.
people are not familiar with the earth, and they hit a brick wall everywhere.
I thought that if my friend received the painting, even if he didn't like it, he would at least not be blamed for knowing my embarrassing life from beginning to end.
but then our mutual friend told me:
who often complains behind your back that you pick and search, saying that you draw that shabby thing, but it's not worth much money, but you have the nerve to give it away.
it is also said that you are not particular about food and clothing, and that a girl lives like a rough-skinned man....
at that moment, it was like a pain in my throat, and I was speechless.
the mood at that time could not be described more appropriately by that popular phrase on Weibo:
We live in different worlds. You live on a luxurious ship with beautiful scenery.
and I am trying to float and float with a piece of driftwood, and I can't hide from the waves. I am in danger of drowning at any time, and I have to worry about whether there are sharks passing by.
if I am not qualified to be side by side with you, but at least I can leave you quietly.
in this way, I gradually lost touch with my friends.
those hurtful words were bitter to me, but now I don't want any answers.
there is a saying like this: "to shut up is a kind of practice, and silence is a kind of experience."
as long as you know some things, there is no need to expose them; some people just recognize them clearly, and there is no need to reveal them.
I know in my heart that if I don't say it, I won't hurt others or myself.
winning depends on the pattern, losing depends on the consideration
Let bygones be bygones.
can't let go all the time, there will always beHurt.
Plato said, "if you are unhappy and unhappy, let go."
the most regrettable thing in life is to give up what you shouldn't give up easily and stubbornly insist on what you shouldn't.
when my grandmother was young, she had a bad relationship with a colleague. Every time she talked about it, she would gnash her teeth and berate her.
decades later, they still hold a grudge, and their families feel helpless.
as my grandfather said:
"you think that person is always fussy, so you cling to this point.
you think that person likes to throw a stone into a well, and you make a mockery when you seize the opportunity.
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you think that person has a small belly and chicken intestines, so you are not nice to others.
but looking back many years later, I found that I had become the person I hated most.
the most rare thing in one's life is to be transparent.
thought through the big things into small, see through the small things, nothing can be light.
this is not only letting go of others, but also letting go of yourself.
without entanglement, the past will turn the page.
if you don't care, you will be at ease for the rest of your life.
as the ancients said:
"there are flowers in spring, moon in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If you have nothing to worry about, it is a good time for the world. "
put it down and feel at ease
it is said that in the whole life,
the hardest way to go is the heart, and the saddest is the heart.
I think so.
the joys and sorrows of life are rooted in our hearts.
the height of life never lies in how much we see clearly, but in how many things we despise.
there is a saying in the four teachings of Leafan: "all kinds of yesterday, such as death yesterday." There are all kinds of things today, such as being born today. "
if you don't like it, you don't have to fall out, ignore it, and just stay away.
Don't cling to things you don't like, don't worry about it, just put it down silently.
as Turgenev said, "as long as you look at things lightly, there is nothing to worry about."
, from now on, let bygones be bygones and don't make yourself anxious.
you have to know that each of our hearts is like a container. If we let go of too many troubles, we can't let go of happiness.
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