A happy marriage is to find the right family and the right person.
listen
about marriage, I have seen a very interesting analogy:
Marriage is like investing in the stock market. If you buy the right stock, you will be satisfied, but the dream of buying the wrong stock will fail. The most unfortunate thing is to buy a "junk stock" and you can only wait for it to plummet to the end.
when we were young, we always felt that love was enough to marry someone.
it became clear later:
to choose a person is also to choose the family behind TA.
if you make the wrong choice, every minute and every second of your marriage can be an ordeal.
Family is a microcosm of a person, through each other's family, we will be able to see the future marital status.
if you want your children to be happy in marriage, don't look for these four families.
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A family with strong parents
when you were sleeping with your husband, your mother-in-law burst into your room with an ovulation cycle table, telling you that you must strictly follow the time of the ovulation table.
this is the hit drama "come on!" In the scene in Mom, even across the screen, we can feel full of embarrassment, embarrassment and suffocation.
in the play, Zhu Yin, who plays the mother-in-law, strongly interferes with the life of her son and daughter-in-law, and she is in charge of all the big and small things in the family.
in the face of her strength, her son is always submissive and doesn't take responsibility.
daughter-in-law is also careful every day, due to long-term mental pressure, finally, she also suffered from depression.
although marriage is the union of two families, it is the husband and wife who really make a living.
in the Family system arrangement created by Bert Hellinger, there is a very important sequence rule:
in the two relationship systems, the new family system takes precedence over the old one.
that is to say, for a new family formed after their children get married, the relationship between husband and wife should take precedence over the relationship between them and their parents' original family.
as Hellinger said in the order of Love:
"in a happy and stable family, the relationship between husband and wife ranks first, the parent-child relationship comes second, and the relationship with parents ranks third."
in families with strong parents, after their children get married, their relationship with their parents tends to take precedence over that of husband and wife.
the dislocation of this relationship is often the biggest source of marital tragedy.
A good marriage should follow the "order of love".
Life is only a few decades, and you must make your own decisions in your own marriage.
Don't let your happiness be lost in a controlled marriage.
families with discordant children
Family harmony is the best feng shui for a family.
A family is a whole. If the children in the family are at odds with each other, the failure is the fengshui of the whole family.
brothers and sisters will be like a plate of loose sand, there is no cohesion, no one can see the other good.
for women, marrying into such a family is naturally involved in all the disputes in the family.
A girl from her hometown married to a family with two brothers. She married her younger brother.
because of the favouritism of my parents-in-law, the relationship between the two brothers is very poor, and they quarrel easily.
my parents-in-law passed away after only a few years of marriage.
my brother and sister-in-law occupied all the fields of the family and drove the younger brother and his wife from the main house to live in a dilapidated little house.
in the end, they were forced to take odd jobs to earn money, and even to have children, they had to rely on their mother's relief, and life was extremely difficult.
their feelings have also been exhausted by family conflicts again and again, and their marriage is in jeopardy.
when a family lives together, the most important thing is to be friendly.
families with constant conflicts between brothers and sisters, no matter how good the relationship between husband and wife, can not withstand the consumption of their families.
as the saying goes, family and everything is prosperous.
Happiness cannot come to a family without temperature and love.
after all, only when the family is harmonious can a marriage be happy and stable.
when looking for a partner, you might as well go to each other's house more often, feel the family atmosphere of his family, and see how the relationship between brothers and sisters is like.
the quality of their relationship largely determines your quality of life after marriage.
Marriage can't afford to make do with anything. When you encounter a family with a bad relationship, you must be careful.
if you choose to get married blindly, it is the greatest irresponsibility to yourself.
A calculating family
Ni Kuang once said, "people who carry calculators and keep calculating, regardless of men and women, will not have true love."
in marriage, what I fear most is calculation.
it would be extremely sad if a parent starts with their children talking about marriage and figuring out how to make more benefits for themselves and their children in this marriage.
Xiaojun, the younger brother of a friend, before his marriage, his parents spent all their family savings to pay him a down payment.
when talking about marriage, the woman's family requires that the house must add the woman's name.
Xiaojun's parents are very helpless, in order to let Xiaojun get a wife, they can only borrow money from east to west.
after marriage, the woman's family still asks the husband's family for money in disguise, and Xiaojun's parents are miserable.
while their in-laws are trying to have fun, they are working to pay off their debts..
Xiaojun, sandwiched in the middle, also began to question whether the marriage was a hoax.
some people say that if the in-laws are too shrewd, they will eventually ruin the marriage of their children.
Marriage is not a palace struggle. If you have to calculate every penny, how much sincerity will be left in the end?
maybe such a marriage was a mistake in the first place.
the marriage of children is the cooperation of two families, which is about sincerity and seeking a win-win situation.
either side only considers unilateral interests, even harming the interests of the other party at any cost, which will eventually turn into an immoral transaction.
No one wants to get caught up in a calculated marriage.
when looking for a partner, you must keep your eyes open, and don't be fooled by each other's appearance, so that you can't see each other's "intentions".
some people have divided marriage into three realms:
the first state is to marry a person you love.
the second realm is to marry a person you love and his habits.
among these states, the third is the lowest divorce rate, and the happiest and most stable.
although it is not as pure and romantic as the first realm, it is closer to the true nature of marriage, because it is secular and social.
this is also the reason why we must visit each other's house more often before marriage.
We should not only look at each other's family circumstances, but also look at each other's family style and the situation of the original family.
after all, marriage cannot be just an affair, it will eventually return to reality.
it is not only a test for two people, but also an assessment for two families.
fail the examination, no matter how much two people fall in love, they may be defeated by reality in the end.
therefore, when looking for a partner, be sure to stay awake and rational.
A happy marriage is to find the right family and the right person.
, may everyone in the marriage find the one who suits them most.
do
people: cake, pen, ink and paper inkstone, firewood, rice, oil and salt, writing in one hand, living in the other.
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